Agent - The Processor
Fat, scraggly beard, old, bald, sitting on the couch drinking beer. Holding a beer in one hand, chips in the other, phone in the ear, and clearly still saying: "Your application is still in processing."
Agent - The Clueless Snob
Sharp suit, smug grin, totally clueless and making it worse. Thinks he’s the boss but can’t find his own tie. The king of useless nonsense and confusion.
Agent - The Clueless Buffoon
Wild-eyed, constantly baffled, probably chewing on his pen. The human embodiment of "Did I even read the form?"
Agent - The Bumbling Disaster
Walks into the office and forgets why he’s there. Expert at pressing the wrong buttons and escalating problems instead of solving them.
Denise T.
Certified Form Misplacer. Once lost her own ID badge for 3 years. Says "Oops" 72 times a day.
Harold B.
Escalation specialist. Favorite phrase: "We’re still reviewing your request." Been reviewing since 2009.